This installment of miscellaneous thoughts is brought to you by my experiences currently living with three female roommates, having lived with about a dozen different female roommates over the last few years, and having had many of their female friends over to the apartment.
Why do women seem to leave the TV on even when they're not watching it? Is it enjoyable just to have voices talking in the background?
I hate hate hate the manufactured drama of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Or the melodrama of Lifetime. Yet some women are utterly mesmerized by these shows. I mean, I get it. I just don't feel it.
Sometimes I feel like my masculinity is primarily useful to do dirty jobs (unclog drains, deal with trash). This is not very romantic.
I don't like having my masculinity taken for granted. If you need me to lift something heavy, and if you ask nicely and show gratitude, then I will enjoy doing it for you. If you ask like you are entitled to my help, then I will resent doing it for you.
If you are dating me and you want to communicate with me, the easiest way is to touch me first. Scratch my head or run your hand down my back. Touch before talk. (But don't do this only when you have something negative to say.)
We have a whiteboard with chores on it: dishes, trash, etc. When a former roommate (male, military) lived here, I added a column called "Heroic Acts of Bravery in the Face of Danger". He wasn't good at regular chores, but he occasionally did really high value things. One Hero point is worth many times the points for ordinary chores. But they are hard to achieve. The girls started to realize how much we liked these Hero points.
When I recently killed the mouse, one of my female roommates gave me a Hero point. She was really sweet and genuine and grateful about it. It was nice. Ladies, you should make your man feel like a hero, and find ways to respect him even for little things. He will love you for it.
Women often seem to preface stories (or tell stories?) by describing all the people involved and how they all relate to one another. But it takes five minutes to get to the point. Is there are point? Why are you telling me this? Are you asking me to weigh in on something? Are you asking my advice? If there is a functional objective to what you are saying, I need to know so that I can listen for relevant facts. Or are you just talking to me and want me to nod along?
I can become friends with a random guy in about 45 seconds. It's easy. I find it harder to become friends with women, and it's never in the same kind of way. Unless she's in her 40s or older. Then it's easier to be friends.
I met a female astronaut last week. She was awesome. Very action-oriented and direct. We got along pretty fast.
A visiting female once bragged about cheating on her boyfriends. She saw this as a form of sexual empowerment. The rest of us (including female roommates) found this disturbing.
I become fiercely loyal to women who seem to understand men. One roommate said that her father told her always to give guys a chance. That was very sweet. I feel bad for guys who get shot down all the time.
Go see The Descendants. After initially disliking the teenage girl in it, I fell head over heels for her. Not because she was young and attractive, which she is, but because she was loyal to her father when her mother had wronged him. She was astonishingly mature for her age (and looks). It's a good movie.