Power and corruption in the sexual marketplace

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." - Lord Acton

Power corrupts.  And when it comes to sexual dynamics, men and women have different bases of power.  And this means men and women face different sources of corruption.

There is much overlap in the qualities each sex looks for in long-term mates (intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, etc.), but we all know where they diverge.  Women tend to judge men based on status.  Men tend to judge women based on looks -- youth and beauty being proxies for fertility.

So when men have status, they are sexually powerful.  When women have youth and beauty, they are sexually powerful.  And when either a man or a woman is powerful, it can corrupt their character -- whether they realize it or not.

For example, subordinates will often tell powerful men, like a CEO, what they think the CEO wants to hear.  And wealthy men quickly learn that their wealth often changes how people interact with them, and everyone seems to want something.  (This happens to wealthy women too, of course, but is mostly irrelevant to sexual dynamics since men don't throw themselves at wealthy old women.)

The same sort of thing occurs with powerful women -- i.e., young and beautiful women.   Beautiful women can't help but know they're beautiful -- they get hit on all the time and many men explicitly tell them so.  But like the CEO who is told what he wants to hear, beautiful women often don't seem aware how much people change their behavior around them. They assume that everyone is kind and nice and is always happy to do them favors. For example, young or beautiful women who travel in foreign countries have substantially different experiences than most other people -- because local high status males pick them up, show them a good time, and do them favors. I love to travel!  It's so much fun!

These sources of power come about in different ways.

Men usually have to earn their sexual power, and these days, it tends to come late in life after decades of effort.  (Note: this would not have been true when men gained status only through violence and military conquest which tend to be youthful pursuits...and socially unproductive ones.)  Many of these powerful old, men did things to earn their power: built a company, wrote music, or made a scientific discovery.  

But women are given their sexual power, and it tends to come early in life with little effort required.  It is an inheritance.  But instead of it being a financial inheritance, it's a biological one.  Women are born wealthy.

So this creates a bit of an asymmetry in how these sources of power corrupt men and women.

For men, corrupting forces tend to hit men late in life after decades of exertion.  And these days, that effort usually requires a certain amount of discipline, and instills an appreciation for what brought you your success.  (Note what often happens when young men inherit too much, too early -- it corrupts them.)

For women, corrupting forces tend to hit women early, after little to no exertion.  Youth and beauty are the ultimate inheritance -- aging, the ultimate death tax.  Thus, young and beautiful women seem to be the people who are most susceptible to corruption (since it happens when they're young and they do nothing to earn it).  And they seem to be the people most easily hurt by their loss of power as they age...particularly if they squandered their inheritance rather than trading it for something of longer term value.

What to do about it?

My humble suggestion is to look to Old Money.  Many Old Money families instill (or attempt to instill) certain values in future generations to prevent them from being corrupted by their financial inheritance.  And then just apply those learnings to how we might think about a biological inheritance.

Comments

 Dear John,I found your blog

 Dear John,I found your blog post because I'm interested in that exact interaction of corruption, power, beauty , unexplicit prostitution, etc.I'm almost computer science magister. I dont love computer science any more like I used to do at the begining. I worked in structural bioinformatics lab.A few years ago I'm very interested in neuroscience, evolutionary psicoogy.Let me bring this links to you:http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1705244http://www.economist.com/node/21530945I would love to work in an experimento to measure this "prostitutness" in societis and others variables.Best Mijael

Oh honey, no. Your basic

Oh honey, no. Your basic premise is wrong - women generally judge men's suitability as sexual/romantic partners based on their looks just as much as men do with women. The main difference between how women and men are judged is in how women's overall value as human beings is judged. A woman's value to society is more or less equivalent to her perceived suitability as a sexual partner, whereas men are more likely to be judged on their other merits.Also, the idea that beautiful women can't help but know they're beautiful just because men hit on them and tell them so is simply absurd. There are many, many men who will hit on women who aren't beautiful, for various reasons. There are also millions who will tell average looking women that they're beautiful - men tell lies in an effort to get laid. I'm sure you're aware of this fact. And most women are also aware of this phenomenon, and therefore a lot of us don't trust what men tell us. There are also a lot of beautiful women who may have gone through an extended "awkward stage" and are still insecure about how they look. Plus all the messages women get from the media telling us that we'll never be good enough. Don't you know any beautiful women who think they're ugly? Thin women who think they're fat?Overall I get the impression that your ideas about the dynamics between men and women are not reality-based, and you need to talk to a lot more women.

 Also in regards to  < There

 Also in regards to  < There are also millions who will tell average looking women that they're beautiful - men tell lies in an effort to get laid.>  ..people like ot make other people feel good..and thus if a guy see's a beauty in a female that he's with, he might tell her. Even if he doesn't find her attractive enough to want to be in a long-term relationship with her. So he can see a certain beauty in her, but not up to his standards attractiveness wise overall. It's the psychology of wanting to compliment other people and make them feel good.

 I agree with most of this

 I agree with most of this comment. < There are also millions who will tell average looking women that they're beautiful - men tell lies in an effort to get laid.> I disagree with this tho. Looks are are at a point heavily subjective and I think simply most of those guys are telling the truth. Also a guy's perception of the attractiveness of a female is not fixed..it can fluctuate..ie. a guy can find a females beautiful at one point..but less so the next (and thus their interest in the female wanes). Being drunk is a good example.   

Yes, men are attracted to

Yes, men are attracted to different things, no question, but there's fairly substantial agreement on someone's general level of attractiveness.

 I think that's generally

 I think that's generally true. But that there's some big exceptions. Like where i went to high school, it was 98% white. And I think 90% of the white guys there wouldn't date any female who was non-white. They must be dating a white female for whatever reason(s).

Thanks for your comment. I

Thanks for your comment. I currently live with three women, all between 20 and 24. I spend a lot of time with women. As for short-term sexual partners, both sexes place a lot of weight on physical features, though I'd be deeply surprised if women placed MORE emphasis than men...but unsurprised if men still placed more emphasis. For long-term sexual partners, men place significantly more emphasis on looks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness#Possible_gender_dif...

There are also well-established and universal preferences for men preferring younger women, and women preferring older men.

As judging overall value to society, that's a much longer conversation. Do you think men like being thought of as an ATM? Or a bunch of beer-swilling, video-game playing violence machines? There's plenty of objectification and negative stereotypes to go around.

 Simply brilliant.

 Simply brilliant.